Same Old Questions
You might be entering this new year with a familiar mix of hope and heaviness. The calendar has changed, but the questions you’ve been carrying haven’t gone anywhere. Questions about purpose, direction, relationships, work, or the quiet sense that something still isn’t right. As a men’s mental health professional, I want you to know this: feeling discouraged by the same questions doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means those questions matter, and they’re asking for your attention, not your avoidance.
You Can’t Outrun Them
Many men try to outrun these questions by staying busy. You set goals, push harder, distract yourself, or promise that this will be the year you finally “figure it out.” Productivity can feel like progress, but often it just creates distance from what’s really going on inside. The questions don’t disappear; they wait. And when the pace slows – late at night, early in the morning, or when something falls apart – they’re harder to ignore.
Discouragement
There’s a particular kind of discouragement that comes from thinking, “Why am I still here? Why am I still wrestling with this?” That voice can turn harsh quickly. It can tell you that other men have moved on, grown up, or gotten stronger while you remain stuck. But repeating questions are rarely a sign of weakness. More often, they’re a sign that you’ve been surviving instead of listening, coping instead of understanding.
Beginning Point
A potential starting point for courage isn’t having answers: it’s choosing to stop running. Courage can look like:
- Naming the question out loud, even if only to yourself
- Writing it down
- Letting it be clumsy or unfinished
- Sitting with someone whose job is to help you explore it without judgment or pressure to quickly “fix” it
Courage doesn’t require confidence; Confidence grows out of taking courageous action: whether big or small.
Next Step
This year isn’t about forcing a breakthrough, but it can be about turning toward the questions you’ve been carrying and making them a focal point to determine your next steps. You don’t need to have it all together to start. No one truly does. You only need an open, honest look at the questions that keep surfacing, and desire to wrestle with them. That willingness is often where real change begins.
